Finally HOME!!

The day finally arrived!! We signed the discharge papers, had our nurse take a picture of us and off we went. We were thrilled beyond words to be going down that elevator with our baby boy finally with us. Words truly can't describe! Landon fell asleep on the walk out of the hospital. We stopped at a couple rest stops for feedings and diaper changes, but other than that he slept the whole way. There really is something magical about a moving vehicle that just mesmerized him.

It felt strange to enter our apartment after being gone for 6 weeks. Even now it just feels so strange. I did not come back to my old life. I keep waiting for something to feel the same, but apart from Ryan leaving for work this morning, everything is different. My schedule revolves around Landon's feedings, diaper changes, mixing his bottles, getting him his meds on time, trying to find the time to pump, and just being with him and staring into those beautiful eyes. He LOVES being held and just walked around. Before yesterday, he had never been able to be held and walked around. His eyes just get huge and he's so content and curious about everything :) Everything is new to him too. We're learning together :)

Our lives are still very crazy and busy though. Nursing visits will start this week, just to make sure his lungs aren't retaining fluid, he's gaining weight and doing well. Doctors visits start next week and we're still figuring out his insurance situation which is scary because the bills are already rolling in. We thought we sent all the forms we needed, but we found you should never trust a fax machine. Hopefully that will all get worked out today with some phone calls.

Thank you everyone for following our journey and praying for us every step of the way.

I had such a God moment yesterday. We were hours into our drive when Ryan turned on the radio and the song blessings was playing by Laura Story. I just stared at Landon and let the words wash over me and the tears fall.

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

I used to sing this song to Landon when I was pregnant and I think it will be one that I'll continue to sing to him as he grows. We want our son to grow up understanding that his pain has a purpose. God has a plan for his life. Ryan and I consider ourselves so blessed that we get front row tickets to watch his story unfold.