Monday, December 10, 2012

What I couldn't say then..

It is so hard to believe that at this time last year. We were grieving the loss of our baby. We couldn't see then that God had to take away our dreams so that he could give us something better then we could have ever imagined.

Thank you Lord for our child. No matter what we may face with him, we praise You for creating him and knitting him together just the way You did. He is beautiful and perfect.
That scar down his chest is a constant reminder to us that he is fearfully and wonderfully made. You don't make mistakes. I don't know where or who I would be without his precious heart.

So today I'm choosing to say what I couldn't say last year...

Thank you!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

To think some people miss this..

I've been pretty emotional the last couple days. Maybe it's the stress of school or maybe it's the fact that our baby boy turned 8 months old yesterday!

This morning I was in the kitchen and I peaked over the corner to look at him, there he was, sitting up all by himself, happily pulling one toy after another out of his bucket. In that moment I was just blown away at how he has grown. It feels like it was just days ago that we finally moved out of NB clothes, gave him his first real bath and heard him babble for the first time, and now we're quickly approaching that 1st birthday. I just don't know how it's possible!! As I was thinking about these things and watching my big boy from a distance, a thought entered my mind. A thought that brought me to tears...

To think that some people miss this...

I thought of not only all of the babies diagnosed with CHD's or any other kind of disease or disability, but of EVERY baby who's ever been aborted.

I thought of what our life today would be like if we didn't have this precious child and that thought is truly... unthinkable.

To think that some people miss out on this beauty.

To think that some people miss out on the chance to taste something that is so heavenly, so pure, so life changing.

To think that some people choose to miss out on the change that these helpless little ones bring.

Isn't that why people get abortions? They don't want the change that a child will bring into their lives?

If you are one who has made this choice, please don't think that I am condemning you... I get it. I've been there in that moment and while I was there, for the first time, I understood.

After we found out I was pregnant, I was devastated.

In that moment you're not thinking clearly. I remember laying in bed and just praying that I would wake up the next day and find that it was all a dream, that I really wasn't pregnant, and that our life could stay the same. In that moment I thought to myself, I understand why people get an abortion.

In that moment it did sound easy. It sounded like it would be simple to just walk into a clinic carrying change in my womb and to leave without it and return home to the nice little life I was living before a pregnancy test rocked it.

To think that some people miss this.

No, I'm not sharing this to condemn anyone, I'm sharing it because our world is traveling quickly into a very scary place. A place where a person's worth is based on their abilities. a place where voices are only heard if they possess the ability to speak.

This terrifies me! What will our world look like without all the beauty and change that these little bundles of "imperfection" bring?

I say "imperfection" because now a days there are multiple tests that pregnant women can have to tell them if there may be something "wrong" with their child. 90% of children diagnosed with Down Syndrome are aborted. God help us! God help us that we are given the choice to opt out of the beauty and change that He so desperately wants to bring into our lives.

My prayer is that, through this blog, people's eyes are opened to how beautiful different can be. I pray that our journey has taught you that along with pain, comes healing.

On that day when I found out I was pregnant, I didn't know that my heart needed to be broken. I didn't know my world was lacking beauty. I didn't know that I was blind... but I do now.

To think that some people miss this...