There have been many times, in the past couple days, where I've been really discouraged about the pillow pet fundraiser. I am constantly wondering how it is all going to work out. The big lie satan has been hammering me on the head with is that people will stop reading my blog if I start to ask for money.
Asking for help is one of the hardest things to do. It is excruciatingly humbling. Who wants to be humbled right? Ryan and I had to get over our pride of not accepting help very quickly simply because we could NOT do it on our own. Without the help of Medicaid, Early Intervention, and our friends and family I don't know where we would be today or where Landon would be for that matter.
It is part of our sinful nature to want to do things on our own. To be independent and not have to rely on others for our needs. Independence is a good thing up to a point. We want Landon to grow up and gain independence so that he can one day live and make decisions on his own, but we also want our boy to know that he is just a part of something so much bigger. We want him to understand that the body of Christ needs to work together if we are to do anything worth doing. We were not meant to live our lives in a bubble. We need others, especially when it comes to helping those in need. The more open Ryan and I have become to accepting help the more we have witnessed God flooding his blessings over us. If we work together and live our lives with an open hand, knowing that whatever God places in it is not ours, we're freed up to accept the blessings of others and also to pour out blessings on those around us. We have found this to be so TRUE. The more people give to us the more we want to give to others. When I remind myself of these things, the pillow pet idea becomes so beautiful. I can't think of it as us begging for money so that WE can go do something, but instead it's us joining hands with all of you and fulfilling what we were made for.... being the hands, feet, and words of Christ to the world.
I cannot thank each of you enough for joining with us in this act of Christ. It would be impossible for us to accomplish what God wants to do without you. Even though we will be the ones going to the hospital, meeting the children and giving them their gift, we do not play a greater role than those of you who have given or are praying for us and for the children.
Last night we received an amazing blessing from some we have known forever and some we don't know at all. We continue to be blown away at Gods provision and we can't imagine the blessings we would have missed out on if we did not live our life with an open hand. Most of us have heard that the Lord gives and the Lord takes away. We believe this wholeheartedly, but what we have found is that God delights in GIVING. For so many months of our journey with Landon I just felt like God was taking taking taking from us. He was taking our dreams, taking our money, taking our joy, taking our son. When in reality, He was giving to us all along. Yes, he had to break us. Yes, he took away all of our dreams and expectations for our future, BUT he GAVE to us a better future then we could of EVER dreamed.
I am not saying any of this to make you feel guilty so you give to the pillow fund. I'm speaking more to myself actually then any of you when I say that, when we give to others, we ALWAYS receive something greater back. I'm not speaking of material things or preaching a prosperity gospel. The something greater I'm talking about is something that this world can never take away. It's understanding, it's love, it's more of God and less of me, and there is NOTHING I want more than that.
May we seek to live each day with an open hand.
Thank you again to all of you. We love you like crazy and you make us feel crazy loved!!