I ran 8 miles and with a stroller I think that = at least 13.2 so I’m telling myself that I’m ready for this thing on Saturday. We’re planning on running the hill one more time tomorrow night and then it’s rest and school cramming until my family arrives on Friday and I get to surprise my dad when we go to pick up his (wink wink) race packet.
I’m a ball of anxiety right now, but it helps running. Today as I ran through the park the trees seemed to be telling me, with every falling leaf, that fall is coming. A new season is upon us. I am excited for fall. I’m excited to wear jeans everyday again and bulky sweaters. This year my sweaters will remain bulky because I will not have a baby tummy to fill them. This year will be different in so many ways. I am excited to experience fall for the first time with my boy. To show him how the leaves change color and the wind has a different smell then any other season. To tell him how you suddenly begin to crave apple pies and pumpkin spice lattés. I love how everything is new to Landon. His tiny world is magical and enthralling and watching him live in it makes me want to breath deeper and take in every precious moment.
I know that next year my boy will not be content just watching the world, he will want to touch it and experience it for himself. I will not simply point out the leaves to him, I will be rolling in them with him. I will not be able to take him outside in only his monkey socks, he will need shoes. I will not only be able to tell him about apple pie, I will be wiping it off of his face. I’ve said it before, but I need to remind myself daily, that this time will go so incredibly fast. I will blink and he will be walking. I don’t want to miss a moment. I don’t want to miss out on fall because I am waiting for the excitement of Christmas or miss out on snuggling on the couch to stay warm because I’m wishing for hot summer days again. Satan wants to get us to this place. This place where we are constantly waiting and wishing for a new season of life. I don’t want to fall into that trap. I want to enjoy every season because once it’s gone you can never get it back.
So I’m taking in the blisters and the drool and the tiny hand that clenches itself around the skin of my neck because I know I cannot have this forever.
Landon, I love...
|how you've started reaching for things|
|and putting them in your mouth|
|how you interlace your tiny fingers in mine|
|reading to you|
|watching you with your papa|
|going into your nursery when I think your asleep only to find you mesmerized by the ceiling fan|
|that moment when I'm feeding you when you slowly stop sucking and drift off to sleep. I pull the bottle out and formula dribbles down your chin. You have taught me not to be so quick to clean up messes, but to wait and enjoy the moment.|
|your monkey socks|
|I love everything about being your mama my child. Thank you for teaching me to enjoy each season as it comes.|