Monday, April 16, 2012

Life Is Fragile

Yesterday I was sitting by Landon's bed talking to a doctor when all of a sudden alarms started going off everywhere. She ran out of the room into the room next to Landon's. Many other doctors swarmed into the room and hallway. I could hear her screaming and telling everyone in the room to get a mask on! I watched as the mother of the child next door stood there numb. I saw the fear in her eyes and it made me cry. As more doctors and machines came the mother walked to the waiting room. You could tell that this was serious. The nurses stood behind the long desk whispering, some were holding back tears as well. Our nurse calmly came in and pulled the curtain, but I could still see out the side window. After a while things settled and I could tell that the child was stable again. Doctors began to exit the room and take off their gloves and masks. Large machines were still being brought into the room, I'm sure many tests had to be done.

Witnessing this shook my heart. It made me realize just how fragile these heart kids are. Landon has been so blessed and is doing so well, but everything can change in just a moment. Every room on this floor holds a fragile heart of a strong child. Everyday is a victory for them. Everyday a battle. There are kids on this floor who are waiting for a new heart. Their families visit each day and sit by their beds without their child ever acknowledging their presence. They are being kept alive on a machine until a heart becomes available. I can't imagine. These families are strong. Being the parent of a heart child means never taking anything for granted. The parents here are not concerned with their child going to the best school or being good at sports, they just want their child to be well enough to come home again.

I pray that no matter what happens in the future. Whether Landon recovers and his heart grows with him or if we have many more hospital visits and surgeries ahead of us, I hope we never forget to cherish every moment. I pray we always remember what is really important. I hope we are a family that is familiar with suffering, and don't forget to help those in need as we have been helped. To comfort those who are hurting as we have been comforted. It is my fear that we will live a "normal" life. I can't believe I am saying this because months ago all I wanted was our normal back, but through our experiences with Landon God has opened our eyes to a new world that we didn't know existed before. It is a scary world, full of pain and suffering, but in this world we know what really matters... life. It can slip away in a moment, before an alarm is even sounded, so we never forget those good-bye and good-night kisses and we never forget to tell our children and those close to us that we love them because life is so fragile.


Lisa said...

The title of this post made my heart sink. I am so glad that Landon is doing well. I am keeping you in my prayers.

Pat Hanson said...

Hi Nat, you hit it on the head. Life is very fragile. But GOD is in control and has you all in the palm of HIS hand. Little Landon is doing so well and we are thankful to GOD for all HE is doing for him and for you and Ryan. I need to pray for that mother and child, too, that you mentioned on your blog. I continue to pray for you all. Rejoice in each day he giveth thee. (I was reminded today of life's fragility when I was in the store today in Warroad when I thought I was almost passing out because my heart rhythm was irregular, but GOD straigthened. Thank you, LORD!) Thanks for updating me on blog because I don't have facebook. Love you! Pat